As the week ends.....

So the week is coming to an end and we survived!!!!! The trucker seems to have a little bit more energy today or maybe it is just nerves. I do know that my nerves are shot and we still have 3 days left until surgery. I think we are as prepared as we can be. We have talked to the kids and let them know what to expect and what needs to be taken care of here at home. I have reserved a place in Salt Lake to stay for the next week. It has a small kitchenette and internet. I have monthend close next week so I need to work as much as I can from either my room or from the truckers hospital room.

So tomorrow will be a day to relax and get bags packed because Monday we leave for Salt Lake. It is suppose to storm and we need to be there by 3:00 for the rest of the truckers tests.

I have been trying to hard to not have a pity party and feel sorry for myself because this isn't about me. My parents sent me a card which I got in the mail today and they sent a check to help cover some of my expenses while in Salt Lake. I got a little teary-eyed for the first time. I know my parents really want to be with me in Salt Lake but I felt it was better to not have them come. They are a great support and I love them very much and really appreciate all they do for us.

I feel so very blessed and feel the Lord's hand in our life. I can understand how people question why the Lord allows things to happen. There have been so many prayers said in our behalf and names put into the temple and we have received so many blessings because of that but I still wonder with all the prayers why this had to go bypass instead of stents. We have seen miracles happen here but not the miracle that we would have chosen. I have to admit I have questioned everything I believe and wonder if I have misunderstood or just maybe don't have enough faith to trust in the Lord. I continually ask for the strength to be able to do what needs to be done and hope that I don't have to do it alone. My faith has been and will continue to be tested through all this and I pray I will stay strong.

Please don't leave me alone....